Woeasme

I think I am sick again, or I am still sick. I went to Uni yesterday but I was in such a mindmelty uuuggghhh state there wasn't much point me being there, in fact I felt rude as though I wasn't taking class as seriously as everyone else. Someone asked me a question I didn't hear and when I said 'pardon?' they said something along the lines of "never mind you're not really here are you". I really wasn't. Before I started the walk home I ate a muesli bar which somehow came with dirt included. Once I started walking I got cramps in three different places in my torso and to be honest I started to cry, on the street, crying. I just feel so far on the end of my tether I'm about to fall of and the idea my body was breaking down in another way was just too much. I hobbled my way home (when I could have easily asked Charlie to pick me up and he would have gladly, instead I opted to martyr myself (something I despise in other people)). Once I got home I went to bed, not moving and fell asleep, and that was where I spent most of my day. Today I got up at about 10am (which isn't too bad for me lately) but I have done so little work it feels like a bit of a waste. I am lethargic and absolutely frozen to the bone, in fact it feels as if my bones are ice and are sending frozen air around me. I'm not sure what the point of this post is, perhaps its a woe's me post (I always thought it was woeasme, I'm a little disappointed it's not). Because I don't actually believe anyone reads this I think it is more likely just me needing to vent, writing is a type of therapy for me. And plus I kind of think if I am honest about the hard bits then the good bits will be more real. It's like when I was a teenager and I would tell myself if I wasn't depressed (sometimes) then when things got good I wouldn't be able to truly appreciate them. So I guess I am looking forward to really appreciating being healthy.