I shouldn't be writing this right now. I should be studying. But I just feel so lost. I have wanted to cry all night, but haven't, it wouldn't be socially acceptable. I have 'bitten off more than I can chew' and feel as though I am choking on it. I have told my supervisor I would have a thematic analysis to him by the end of the week, today is Thursday and as of yet there I have not typed a single word towards it. On Monday I have to do a presentation, worth 10%, and I still don't know what to talk about. I wanted to write an essay on rugby in New Zealand and how it has impacted on and been impacted by national myths. But I'm scared they will laugh me out of class. What am i doing talking about rugby in a serious and important class like this? And what does a silly little girl know about rugby? On Wednesday I have to lead the class for 2 hours discussing four feminist readings I don't understand. I haven't even read all of them yet. I don't know how much what I'm feeling is stress and social anxiety and how much is pms but right now I'm not feeling so good (in the head).
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