Wanky academicy writing

It's 6.30pm and I feel shattered. I guess that's pms for you. It may also have something to do with the onions Charlie's cutting that are making my eyes want to close. I am working on writing my dissertation and I have gotten pretty far but I'm a bit stuck on the methodology section, the introduction and the conclusion, all the hard parts. Perhaps some of the problem is that I don't feel academic enough and I am a little worried that when all the lectures gather round and listen to the guest marker talk about my years work they will erupt into laughter. But that's probably just the pms talking. All the lecturers have said my work is well written but I worry it is not academicy enough. I mean I know I could write like a wanker if I wanted to but I don't. I think it's the 'academics' responsibility to make their work accessible, I would really like it if my friends and family knew what I was going on about rather than just a few lecturers. I also think if you can make something difficult more easy to understand and can do so in everyday language you are showing you have a good understanding of what your talking about. I don't mean dumbing down I mean wanking down. So much academic text just sounds so wanky I'm too busy making silly faces and gestures at the page to read it let alone understand their argument. Plus, I think my work is way more interesting to read, I kind of think of it like a well thought out conversation with a friend where I don't swear or make up my own words. So maybe I just needed to vent and reassert my position. I really do feel strongly about it, I even wrote an essay (not entirely, a large part) on it. Then again when those moments of doubt sneak in, particularly around about the second week of every month (get the hint?), a part of me just wants the smart (and arrogant and wanky) kids to like me.

Here is an informative illustration: